extroversion: the act, state, or habit of being predominantly concerned with and obtaining gratification from what is outside the self
I am an extrovert. My world consists of snatching violent passionate moments zipping about my external circumstances. Contrary to what American values and culture would suggest, extroversion has nothing to do with one’s capacity to love well, connect meaningfully with others, or find “big-time” success. It’s a neutral personality trait that can be manipulated into good or evil.
introversion: the state of, or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one’s own mental life
I don’t read any piece in that definition suggesting awkwardness or inferiority that would suggest an introvert ought to morph into a gregarious, bubbly individual. That idea terrifies me, actually. Nobody would ever shut up. We’d be a world of dancing, cackling monkeys.
Don’t get me wrong, I love extroverts too. We need both in our society to temper the weaknesses and pull the other out of that wretched, infamous “Comfort Zone”. But the older I get, the more I feel I’ve heard the praises sung for that hero full of vivacious energy, boldness, and booming confidence that smashes their opponent’s ego into the ground as they charge on to fulfilling their destiny. I’d like to devote a few words to the equally admirable traits of the other group of humanity.
Just about every last person I connect with on the richest level of life would classify themselves (and correctly so) as an introvert. They are occupied primarily with the workings of the mind and cheerfully slide into the role of listener and observer when the group gathers together.
Some recent studies suggest that “contrary to popular belief, it is often introverts not extroverts who make the best leaders, because they listen well and have great emotional empathy—skills useful for getting the most out of your team.” (Berkeley) There are also commentaries on how American culture tries to “drive the shy” out of people because somehow it’s not OK; far too often, introverts are the victims of adolescent bullying and many walk a long road to self-worth. I’ve seen this with those closest to me in my life. I have watched over the years as they have encountered brash individuals picking them apart for their “fewer friends”, less dating experience, so-called strange hobbies (who decided sports were cooler than computers??) and their fierce focus on the mind. I know that they are shaping their world into a more beautiful masterpiece because of their personal depth.
I know there are reserved people who will find joy and benefit from pushing themselves to communicate more boldly but outgoing individuals will also find a surreal happiness from stepping out of the limelight and interacting with the magical wallflowers laughing in the wings. I have been permanently changed by painfully shy individuals and I feel grateful to have been born into a family who accepts my explosive self while teaching me to listen in between the differences.
We Are Doing Alright 